Initial Theories of Human Relationships

Parents like to take their anger out on their kids when they are in a bad mood. Like when your brother gets your mom mad and when you come home, your mom starts to yell at you. Not only parents do this, but friends, acquaintances, and strangers do this to us. When your friend is already in a bad mood, you walk up to say hi him/her and s/he gives you the attitude. I believe psychologists call this catharsis. Catharsis is when someone lets out all their emotions so that they can feel better afterward. If a person is having a bad day at work, they could go take it out at the boxing ring. Psychologists would not recommend this method to relieve emotions; catharsis makes one more prone to the emotion. Does that mean we should find other ways to relieve our emotions? What other choices do we have?

I sometimes see people chase after things they cannot get. Like people who are obsessed with the Jonas Brothers or Justin Bieber, they know they cannot marry these people, so why bother saying so? Maybe it gives the people something to long for, to give their life a purpose, to keep them distracted and busy. They know they cannot marry these famous people but they want to experience this obsession, so they chase after these stars. And when they meet the stars or get the chance to spend time with the stars, they would not know what to do because people would not know how to deal with these situations.

Humans are always resetting our reference levels; whether it is the level of happiness, or the level of our metabolism. When we eat a certain amount of food for a long period of time, our body gets used to this amount and expects us to continue eating this much. It is the same thing with our hormones, when we secrete too much epinephrine, our body considers this as the normal amount and therefore our body needs to secrete more to make us happy. Our level of happiness is similar to this concept. When we receive something in life, for example a raise in salary, we get really happy but then we adapt to this change. Our happiness level drops or our body resets the normal level and I think that is why we do not take the time to appreciate what we have; we are constantly looking for other things to cheer us up.

I think understanding people is most important in any relationship; sometimes, the truth or trust is not enough. When interacting with someone, you must understand where this person is coming from; you can look at things from that person's perspective and learn to accept their thinking. By doing so, you can learn what they want and work with it so that you can get what you want, resulting in a win-win situation. Every relationship needs understanding and I think that is what we all look for in a relationship. Whether it is a friend we can talk to about problems, a parent we can talk to about school, or a coworker we can talk to about our boss.

I find it funny sometimes when have to say sorry when you get into someone's way, even though you do not mean it and if you do not say sorry, they think you are rude. Now, it is almost a reflex to say sorry when bumping into someone. This is New York City and we will find ourselves bumping into people one after the other and we will have to say sorry over and over again. Can this be avoided so we can say more meaningful things or is New York City inevitable?