Parenting 101

I think parents should sleep with their kids; it gives the kids the sense of attachment and physical connection. Breast feeding also adds to that physical connection; it is natural and does not contain harmful chemicals. Although I was the only one of my three siblings who was not breast fed, I feel like I can connect more with my mom. It could be possible that I will lose that connection in the future or that because I did not have that connection when I was an infant, I yearn for that connection. Of course, there are other factors that affect parent-child relationships; I was brought up by my parents themselves along with my older sister while my younger siblings were sent back to China because my parents did not have the time to look after them. Most people would probably say that kids should be the center of attention but I sometimes wonder if all the attention is healthy for the kids. I am afraid that if a kid gets too much attention, then the kid will grow accustom to the attention and might ask for more attention when the kid does not get it.

I think I would be a horrible parent and this is why I wonder whether a child should have all the attention or not. Kids need a lot of attention, thus, they should be treated like puppies. But if the kid is capable of acting like an adult (which is rare), then I believe that they have the right to be treated like adults. I think that parenting can come naturally if one can pick it up quickly when exposed to other parents and their kids. But I think that there should be some research done; does not have to be books, could be asking other parents for help. My parents never read books on parenting; I think that my mom learned to parent from her parents, just by observing how she and her siblings were treated. She probably asked her mom when she was helpless at times but she knew how to treat a swollen ankle with starch and vinegar. Kids learn from their parents, therefore, if they were physically disciplined, then they will discipline their kids physically also.

The authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting styles were first introduced to me two or three years ago. At that time, I thought the authoritative (consisting of elements from both the authoritarian and permissive) parenting was the ideal type of parenting. However, in the parenting descriptions, Baumrind makes all of then sound beautiful and positive in their own way. Then in the background information, she seems to favor the authoritative parenting, then the authoritarian parenting, and implies that the permissive parenting does not work at all. I think that my mom is using the authoritarian parenting style; I tend to give up easily and my brother often swings his arms when he does not get what he wants.

I think the Attachment Parenting website basically states things that a nurturing mother should know with a few exceptions that I learned. It should obvious that the mother should be physically close with her child; this includes breast feeding and sleeping with the child. What I did not know is that carrying your baby around wherever you go allows the child to be more alert. The website also touches upon the question of whether a mother would be spoiling the child if she attended to all the child's needs. The website says that being attentive to the baby's needs builds trust between the baby and the parent. When, then, does a mother stop attending to the baby's needs; when does the baby start to take advantage?